6 Ways Believers Grieve the Holy Spirit

Do Not Grieve the Holy Spirit
Series, Part 1

When you think of God, who, in the Trinity, do you think of? The Father, or the Son? Or do you think of the Third Person, the Holy Spirit? While we may not think of Him in the same way we think of Jesus, He is very important to us. Today’s study will examine how believers grieve the Holy Spirit. In addition, we will examine the difference between grieving the Holy Spirit and quenching Him.

Table of Contents

Paul’s Teaching on How Believers Grieve the Holy Spirit

Paul taught the believers in Ephesus how they ought to live, doing the right thing and being obedient to God. Read Ephesians 4:17-32 for the background text; however, let me sum up what he said we should do:

• We are to put away the old conversation, put away the old man, the old way of living
  • We are to put away the lying, stealing, and all things about the old life,
• and we are to be renewed in our minds (Eph 4: 1, 22-23).
  • and do the right thing of being kind to one another, tenderhearted, and forgiving each other.

When we put away the old nature and take on the new nature, the opposite of grief takes place. The Spirit is joyful with us. When we do the deeds of the flesh, that is, when we sin, we distress and grieve the Spirit of God.

Paul also taught the Thessalonian believers about the coming of the Lord and to stay alert in the light, 1 Thess 5:12-22. He reminded them to:

• Stay in unity and be kind to one another.
• Rejoice, pray, give thanks, and don’t quench the Spirit by despising prophesying.
• Prove or test all things and abstain from the appearance of evil.

Doing these things will please the Holy Spirit. Not doing them will be like extinguishing the fire of the Spirit in our lives. Not doing them would quench the Spirit.

So, now we know the text verses, let’s see how we grieve or quench the Spirit today.

Understanding The Terms

There are two Scripture verses with these specific words in them. Let’s look at them first before we go further.

Ephesians 4:30 says And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

1 Thessalonians 5:19 says Quench not the Spirit.

Are these verses talking about the same thing? Let’s look at the meaning of “grieve” and “quench” from Vine’s Expository Dictionary.

Quench = 4570 (Strong’s) is used metaphorically as of “quenching” the Spirit, by hindering His operations in oral testimony in the church gatherings of believers, (1 Thess 5:19).

Grieve = 3076 (Strong’s) is used in the active voice as of grieving the Holy Spirit of God (as indwelling the believer); (Eph 4:30).

So what does this mean?

Quench means to put out or stop the Spirit’s movement when believers are gathered together.

Grieve is present tense when believers cause the Holy Spirit pain, grief, or distress through our actions.

“Quenching” is what YOU do to the Spirit of the Living God,
while “grieving” is how HE responds to your actions.

Now, it’s time to examine six things that we do that grieve Him.

1 — We Grieve the Holy Spirit When We Disobey Him

When we put on the armour of God and take up our shield, we are extinguishing the fiery darts of the enemy.

In the same way, because the Spirit of God dwells within us, when we ignore His leading or disobey Him, or when we put down our shield of faith, we are extinguishing the Holy Spirit’s fire in us. We quench the Spirit by ignoring Him.

When we pick and choose what we want to obey in the Word of God, we quench the Spirit which grieves Him.

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 2 Timothy 3:16.

We don’t get to choose what we will obey and what we will ignore. Complete obedience is doing the will of the Father; therefore, there is no compromise.

2 — We Grieve the Holy Spirit When We Deny Him

We are not to shun (ignore) the work of the Holy Spirit within our lives. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be our Comforter, our Healer, our Teacher, our everything. The Holy Spirit is the power in our lives, and we need Him.

He knows what we need and can and will supply that. When we think we do not need Him, that we have other avenues for the solution, then we are rejecting the work of the Spirit, which is quenching Him, and that’s when we grieve Him.

John wrote in his epistle, 1 John 2:20, 27 that we have an unction from the Holy One and ye know all things; but the anointing ye have received of him abideth in you and ye need not that any man teach you; but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

Be Sensitive to the Leading of the Spirit

Another way we deny the Spirit is when we shut down the moving of the Holy Spirit in our fellowship gatherings.

When the Spirit is ready to move in our midst, our self-made agenda causes us to be insensitive to His leading, and we miss out on what He wants to do among us.

• He may have wanted to give a message through the gifts of the Spirit, but instead, we used a water hose to quench the Spirit.
• He may have wanted us to praise and worship in the Spirit, but instead, we rushed on to the next item on the agenda, and thus we quenched the Spirit.
• There are several ways He wants to express Himself, but instead, we put out His fire when we don’t allow Him to move in our midst.

So, by denying the power and move of the Holy Spirit, we quench the Spirit, resulting in our actions grieving Him. We’ll look at those consequences shortly.

3 — When We Do Not Apply the Word, We Grieve the Holy Spirit

James wrote to the saints that we should be doers of the word and not hearers only (James 1:22). This means that we apply what we learn from the Word of God so that we are practicing what it teaches.

We should be seeking diligently how we ought to live in holiness and righteousness.

Both Paul and John teach how we should walk in the light as He is in the light. This means we are to be doers of the Word. It is when we stop applying the truth to our lives that we quench the Spirit and thereby we grieve the Holy Spirit of God.

4 — Not Desiring God’s Will Grieves the Holy Spirit

God has a plan for your life and mine. His will is that we follow the truths in His Word and live them out. I read this verse recently, Psalm 31:1 In Thee, O Lord, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness.

We need to trust in Him, and the times when we think we can do life on our own, we are denying His will for us, resulting in grieving the Holy Spirit.

When we focus only on ourselves, we grieve the Holy Spirit of God.

When we have an attitude of “me, me, me” or when we have an attitude of not caring about others, or when we develop apathy towards the things of God, we both quench and grieve the Holy Spirit.

God wants us to think of others. We are members of the body of Christ, and when we ignore our Christian family, we are not living out His will for us.

5 — We Grieve the Holy Spirit When We Do Not Rely on Him

God gave us His Spirit to enable us, to be our strength, to give us power in the name of Jesus.

When we rely on our own strength to work out the solutions we need, we are not relying on the Spirit of God. The Holy Spirit is our source of power, but when we ignore His power, we quench Him and grieve the Holy Spirit.

Jesus said in Acts 1:8, But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.

We cannot share the gospel or witness our testimony to others without His power, without the Holy Spirit. We cannot do this in our strength.

Related Post: Practical Ways to Share the Gospel Without Being Pushy

There isn’t anything we can do for the Lord in our own strength. We need to rely on the Spirit of God. The Spirit enables us to do all things through Him. When we rely on ourselves, we quench Him, and we grieve the Holy Spirit.

Related Post: Do Not Grieve the Holy Spirit by Tim Challies. And, this post by Compelling Truth, called How Does A Person Grieve or Quench The Holy Spirit would also be helpful.

6 — We Grieve The Holy Spirit When We Insult Him

Yes, you read that correctly. Hebrews 10:29 speaks of insulting the Spirit of grace. This isn’t the kind of insult we make with others, like, “oh, you look…..” This insult goes much deeper than that. So, let’s examine this passage to see what the author wrote about.

In Heb 10:26-31, the author talks about the dangers of drawing back to our old life, which means that we decide to sin willfully.

Once we have received the knowledge of truth, we are to move forward in walking in that truth. Those who reject the gift of grace that Jesus gave us are trampling on the Son of God, making His grace a common thing. The result of this is an insult to the Holy Spirit, thus grieving Him.

To clear up any possible confusion, this passage is speaking of those who do not have salvation in Jesus. They are apostates who chose to continue in a life of sin. They turned their backs on Jesus and rejected His sacrifice for our salvation. Hebrews 10:26 explains that “there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins.”

I know this verse is heavy stuff and hard to hear. But know that this isn’t the unforgivable sin that Jesus spoke of in Matthew 12:31. This verse means that there is no other atonement available. This passage is not speaking of a believer who falls away, but rather someone who may claim to be a believer, but truly is not. Anyone who apostatizes is proving he never had genuine faith to begin with (1 John 2:19).

That’s a Wrap

There are other ways that we can grieve the Spirit of God.  Basically, anything we do that excludes the Trinity grieves the Holy Spirit.

When we sin, we do both:

• we quench the Spirit and
• we grieve the Holy Spirit.

When we are in a group, ie, a study group or conference, it is possible that the group can grieve the Holy Spirit collectively, which we have no control over. However, if you take a stand for the correct Biblical application, then you do have control over the group’s outcome. So, if you see the group doing or saying something that grieves the Holy Spirit, speak up!

We also grieve Him as individuals. I know you don’t want to grieve Him. I don’t want to grieve Him. Your heart breaks at the thought of that, just as mine does.

In order not to grieve Him, let’s choose to be doers of the word and not hearers only. By applying what we learn from the Word to our lives, we will please God. And when we please God, we won’t grieve the Holy Spirit.

When the Spirit is moving in you, let Him move. Maybe you’re praying for someone, and you sense in your spirit to pray in a certain direction, then do it. Be sensitive and obedient to the still, small voice of God.

Read your Bible, study the Word, commune with God daily, be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2), and walk the talk. Live out what you are learning from the Word.

If you have anything else to add, I’d love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below.

In Him We Live,
~ Cindy ~

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